Bush Devil

Sorry, I thought that title might grab someone's attention. 

What I'm actually referring to is the Venezuelan Prez, Hugu Chavez, calling George W. "the devil" on the floor of the UN.  This makes me feel bad because now I'm thinking that I haven't been hanging out with Chavez as much as I should have.  He's apparently cooler than I realized.  Sure, he seems to go off the deep end sometimes, referring to Bush as "Mr. Gringo" or "pendejo," but that's just part of Hugo's charm.  Everything he says about our administration rings of truth.  The problem is that when the media quotes him they do it at face value without an appreciation for irony.  You see, when Chavez accused the U.S. of supporting terrorism because it harbors Pat Robertson, come on, man, that's just plain funny.  Robertson constantly spews inflammatory statements against foreign countries, gays and lesbians, and crazy kids whose music he doesn't understand.  When religious leaders in the Mideast rail against us, we do tend to call them terrorists, so I'm down with the fair turnabout of labeling Robertson as one.  While we're at it, let's toss the Pope in there, too.  (Incidentally, I love how Pope Ben - no relation - calls Muslims violent, and then says that's not how he personally feels.  No, you don't understand, those aren't my views.  Those are just the views of God.  I don't always agree with my employer, but I'm a team player, you understand.  I don't want to screw up my pension.)  The bottom line is that if you don't want foreign leaders calling you an imperialist elite threatening global stability by using military oppression to secure business interests, then don't give them a reason. 

In all honesty, I'm not sure how I feel about our President being called "the devil."  When I picture Satan, Lucifer, the Prince of Lies, the Lord of Darkness, Ole' Mr. Scratch, I imagine someone a little more hep.  Someone who would be equally at home at either an Iron Maiden concert, or at a fiddle playing contest in Georgia.  By calling Bush the devil, Chavez characterizes him as a seemingly invincible threat.  I would suggest another, less menacing, sillier comparison.  This is not to say that I believe Bush is harmless.  I just don't believe he should be portrayed as having the same organizational skills and public relations savvy as the devil.  I would compare him to a monkey.  Why?  Have you taken a good look at the man?  Seriously, he looks like a monkey.  A chimpanzee to be more precise.  Go on, look at the link for yourself.  (The funny thing about that link is you would think I saw the site, and then said, Hey, I'll put that in my post.  Actually, I typed "bush looks like a monkey" into Google, and a whole slew of links came up.  It's good to know I really had my finger on the pulse of the Internet community with that one.  Yay me.)

I really have to hand it to Chavez, though.  It takes some cajones to call Bush the devil.  Me, I would be too scared.  The doorbell rings right afterwords, and it's Cheney come to take you on a little "hunting" trip.  Scary.  On the other hand, if you want to call Cheney the devil, that works for me a lot better.  I could see Dick Cheney as the devil with Bush as his chimpanzee slave.  "I will destroy the world and everyone will believe it the work of my drunken monkey!  Bwa-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha!  Monkey!  Bring me my fiddle!"

Oh, well.  That's the ongoing drama of the Bush administration for you.  How will we ever get by if and when it ends?  How will I ever get used to sleeping with both eyes closed, again?  Or seeing same sex couples openly expressing affection without fear?  Yeah, it's nutty!  Not nutty in an extra crunchy peanut butter kind of way, but nutty in an "insane, we're all gonna die" kind of way. 

Oops, Hugo Weaving just walked into the office, gotta run.